Memory of you
by Midnight dream-catcher
Summary: But it wasn't without that hint of regret. Levi was filled with so much regret. Regret that he pushed Eren away. Regret that he couldn't protect Eren. Regret that he wasn't strong enough to say "I love you". Although he was the one to tell Eren that life was full of disappointments and to accept their outcomes. And now, he's crying over the loss of the one who mattered the most.
1. Chapter 1

_In the undeniably spick and span room of Lance Corporal Levi, __Eren would always wake up after Levi every morning, asking him why he didn't get up first. And Levi would always lie and say, "You have a killer grip on my hand, shitty brat."_

_And Eren would always laugh, "Yeah right, you could easily get out of it. You just want to watch me sleep, Corporal Levi."_

"_Levi. It's just 'Levi' when we're alone." would come the reply, but only to avoid admitting that yes, he just wanted to watch him, and ignoring the fact that he'd spent the past hour or so just running his hand through Eren's soft locks, breathing in his scent and just holding him, wishing he'd never disappear from his grasp. Ignoring the fact that he loved Eren's sleeping face and was admiring it and caressing it and planting light kisses all over his flawless skin all while softly whispering endearments into his ear._

_Then Eren would laugh again. The laugh that Levi loved to hear. The laugh that Levi had to always make conscious effort not to smile at but fail to anyway. And all of this happened with both their hands remaining intertwined under the covers._

Levi woke that morning to find his bed cold and empty, as the absence of a certain brunet left him feeling more alone than ever. All hope that everything that had happened was just a bad dream vanished. Groaning that an old man such as himself should've learned to cope with losses, he forced himself out of bed (without bothering to make the bed), got ready and went to change.

But suddenly, his whole room looked so much duller without a bright pair of teal eyes staring at him in admiration (and love- but thinking about that made Levi's heart throb painfully). And he was forced to admit to himself that the pair of eyes wandering over his body as he changed every morning weren't exactly unwanted.

"_See something new, brat?" Levi would always ask in annoyance._

_And Eren would walk over to him, wrap his arms around Levi's waist and hum agreeably in his ear._

_But Levi would push him away, muttering that he needs to get ready, and Eren would comply silently._

_Levi wishes he hadn't. _

As the memory dissipated into thin air, Levi could nothing but clutch his head in his hand and wish he hadn't been such a stupid, stubborn little asshole. (And he later realized that that was the first time he'd ever insulted himself using his height and blamed Eren for it- and that only made things hurt more.) Eren had a huge hold over Levi, and Levi knew that. But it wasn't as if Eren knew that, and Levi sure as hell wouldn't tell him.

Or, maybe he would if Eren was still around, so maybe his mind wouldn't be filled with countless possibilities of what could've happened if he didn't keep all of his feelings to himself.

As Levi passed the mirror in his bathroom, he couldn't help the sharp ache in his chest, seeing the brass basement key dangling from his neck glistening under the ceiling light.

"_L-Levi… Here, I want… you to have this…" Eren trailed of breathlessly, eyes half-closed and crimson blood pooling on the ground as he gently pushed his basement key into Levi's hands. _

"_E-Eren…?" Levi has never heard his voice sound more fearful. Because he knew he wouldn't be able to bear losing Eren. Because… He loved Eren. He loved Eren far more than a superior should, and their relationship was far from professional. And he loved every minute of it. From the stolen kisses to the secret hand-holding under the dining table to the sleeping together in the same bed and just breathing each other's air. Levi loved it all, and the thought of it all vanishing terrified him._

_Levi loved it all, but he just couldn't say it._

_Pride, was it? Or maybe he just wasn't built for actual relationships. Everyone he ever cared about seemed to just die before his eyes. Petra, his whole squad, Eren. And he never seemed to be able to protect them. Perhaps Hanji or Erwin would be next. _

_Levi didn't think he'd be able to take it if things ended up that way._

_It took a while after Petra's death for Levi to open up to the boy and finally accept his feelings. Because as much as he refused to show it, he really did care for Petra and deep down, the knowledge of the possibility of Eren dying tortured him from the inside. But now, he wishes he wasn't such a damn stubborn fool who didn't even dare to reach for what he wanted and let his fears go sooner. Then maybe he would've had more time to spend with the boy._

_He was never one to hesitate, or hold himself back for the matter. So why was Eren so different? Maybe… Levi never really loved someone until Eren? Where had all the bravery and courage that stemmed from being Humanity's Finest go? _

"_Levi… Make sure you find out what's in the basement. For humanity…." Eren trailed off._

"_Eren, you fucking piece of shit, don't you fucking dare die on me, you got that?" the pain in Levi's voice surprised him, because he knew he'd never been more scared in his life._

_But still, at Eren's deathbed, Levi still managed to insult him. _

_And still, Eren looked up at Levi with only love in those gorgeous eyes of his, caressing his cheek as he whispered, "I love you, Levi."_

"_I… I…" Levi couldn't say it. He just couldn't. The three words were caught in his throat, and none of them could come out._

_And at that moment, just before Eren's eyes closed, Levi swore he saw a flash of pain in those teal orbs._

That was probably why relationships never really worked out for him. Hell, his cupboard was more affectionate and the big-ass trees in that forest have more personality and _fuck_, Erwin's eyebrows would probably be better at social interaction than he was.

Somehow, Levi managed a low chuckle at his shitty humor that he used to degrade himself.

But it wasn't without that hint of regret. Levi was filled with so much regret. Regret that he pushed Eren away. Regret that he couldn't protect Eren. Regret that he wasn't strong enough to say "I love you". The irony of it all was that he was the one to tell Eren that life was full of disappointments and to accept their outcomes. Yet here he was, Humanity's Finest, crying over his mistakes that made him lose what mattered the most. And the worst was, he didn't even know how much Eren mattered to him until he was gone.

Levi saw his tired, lifeless eyes reflected back to him on the bathroom mirror, arms clutching the edges of the sink as his eyes flitted across his face, past the dark circles due to a night of unending nightmares and down the cheeks which Eren used to pepper loving kisses onto and over the lips that Eren would forcefully claim each night.

It took Levi everything he had in order to not break down and cry.

Still, he could feel Eren's hands over his face, and though his fingers were rough from handling the 3DMG, they felt featherlight and smooth to Levi. Still, he could feel the unexperienced, wet kisses Eren would trail all over his face, and though Levi would make fun of his amateur attempts, he couldn't say he didn't enjoy it as it was something unique to Eren.

"Shit, I'm really fucked up, aren't I?" Levi muttered to no one in particular as he began washing up.

Re-entering his room, he picked up the clothes he haphazardly threw onto the ground the previous night when he had tossed himself onto his bed and buried his face into the pillows that Eren used to fluff for him- just how he likes it.

_But I'd choose you over a perfectly fluffed pillow any day. _

Slowly and against his better judgment, he inched towards the deflated pillow, reaching out before swiftly snatching it into his arms.

_Eren._ _The pillow smells of Eren. _

And Levi tried to name the scent. Tried. He couldn't seem to place any other name to it other than "Eren". Instead, he focused on inhaling the scent as his heart began pounding twice as fast.

At that moment, his breathing-in-Eren-from-his-pillow session was interrupted by several quick knocks on his door. Levi jerked his head upwards, sharply glaring at his door. "What do you want?" he answered flatly.

"Hey, Levi… It's me. Erwin wants to see you," Hanji said apologetically, feeling bad that she had to bug him when she knew he was still upset about Eren's death.

"Yeah, okay. Tell him I'm coming," he paused, before adding, "…shitty glasses."

From outside the door, Hanji smiled at the insult. At least Levi was trying to go on without being too affected. Although she wished he wouldn't hide his feelings from everyone else, she knew that it was what made him Levi.

A few minutes later, Levi stepped out of his room, and he and Hanji began walking towards Erwin's office in a silence that was rare with Hanji around. Breaking the unsettling silence, Levi asked as monotonously as he could, "Where's his body now?"

"Levi," she scolded, "you _know _I was given specific orders not to tell you."

"Yeah, yeah."

Erwin was worried that if Levi knew where Eren's body was, he wouldn't leave his side. Erwin wasn't exactly wrong to think that, though.

The two didn't exchange any more words until they reached Erwin's office. At the door, Levi felt something pool in his stomach, telling him not to go in. But Hanji forced him to anyways.

"I'll leave you to it, then," Hanji said and walked off to do god-knows-what.

Levi knew she was just trying to be understanding and not aggravate him any more, but her uncharacteristic behaviour was just plain uncomfortable, though he appreciated it all the same.

With a deadpan expression, he stared at Erwin, "What did you want me for, Erwin?"

"Levi…" Erwin's voice was mild and laced with caution, "I thought you might want to do this."

Before Levi could call Erwin out on not being the sort to walk on eggshells over a mere death, he glanced at the clipboard that was held out to him. His eyes widened as any intention of a retort was lost. Gritting his teeth and willing the pain in his chest away, he forced a "thank you" before snatching the board over.

Face devoid of emotion, he quickly scribbled on the sheet of paper clipped to the oak board and dropped it on Erwin's desk without so much as looking at him. Without waiting to be dismissed, he quickly left the room, not wanting to be anywhere near the words on the board.

Erwin ignored the disrespect, understanding how Eren's death affected Levi, as much as he hated showing it. Instead, he looked down at the clipboard flung on his desk, reading each and every word, though he already knew what it would say.

_Name: Eren Jaeger_

_Age: 15_

_Birthday: March 30_

_Height: 170cm_

_Weight: 63kg_

_Status: __Alive _**Deceased**

Erwin could only imagine how much it probably pained Levi to write that one word. It was like being the one to pen down a confirmation that your worst nightmare was true and there's nothing you can do to help it.

Levi's feet moved swiftly as he made his way back to his room, brushing past the remaining members of the Scouting Legion who were just as careful not to bother him. Much to his annoyance, Hanji had her back resting on his door, definitely waiting for him. "Fuck off, shitty glasses. I have things to do," he glared at her coldly, wanting nothing more than to be on his own.

Ignoring Levi's words, Hanji's expression softened as she pressed something cold and hard into his palm and closed his fingers around it. "Levi… As much as it pains you and me, he's not coming back."

Even before he unclenched his fingers, Levi knew what it was. The key to his room that he intended for Eren. The one that he naively left under the doormat outside his room. _Just in case,_ he had told himself.

And Levi knew, that no matter how much he tried to believe it, Eren wasn't coming back.

It was a while after Hanji left before Levi had calmed down enough to sit at his work desk, and he almost called for Eren to bring him some tea.

Mentally chiding himself for his over-dependency on the brat, he got up and shuffled to his mini-kitchen to make his own tea. Seemingly out of habit, he called out to his bedroom, "Hey, brat, do you want some-"

Oh.

Even though he managed to stop himself mid-sentence, he realized that he had already poured the second cup of tea.

Oh.

There was absolutely nothing going through his head as he stiffly sat by his coffee table, one cup of tea in front of him and the other at Eren's usual spot. He pictured Eren facing him, smiling and laughing and being a complete nuisance but Levi not minding a single bit.

With a pained expression, Levi regarded all his treasured possessions resting on the table. Eren's basement key. Eren's spare key. Eren's cup of tea. Eren's cloak, still stained with blood, that Levi couldn't bear to wash.

_Eren's this. Eren's that. Eren, Eren, Eren._

And in the drafty air of his room, Levi broke down.

Slamming his fists on the table, he finally let the tears he had to forcefully bite back all day go as all his pent up frustrations were released in one shot. The tears flowed from his eyes, unhindered as he dropped his head towards the table.

"E-Eren… I love you, okay? I love you, you fucking brat, so please… Please come back to me… Eren…" Levi cried to the table, words wracked with sobs.

Levi cried and cried, but now, not just because of Eren. He let all the pain and all of his regrets finally take over him as he finally let the deaths of all his comrades get to him.

Petra. Gunter. Erd. Auruo. Eren. And many, many more.

All of them were dead because Levi couldn't protect them. He wasn't even there when most of them died.

_Before, Levi sometimes had moments of breaking down as well. Except Eren would always be there to hug him and tell him its not his fault and that he wouldn't leave him, ever._

"Liar," Levi whispered, "Eren, you fucking liar."

And somewhere along the line, someone began knocking on Levi's room door, but was ignored by Levi, who drowned it out with the continuous repeats of his memories with Eren replaying in his heart.


	2. Chapter 2

"_So this is what the ocean is like…" Levi let his words be blown away by the gentle sea breeze. The soft crashing of waves overlapped with Hanji's excited exclamations of how marvelous some grainy shit she called "sand" was. Still, it was peaceful, as it was ever since the Titans were exterminated from the world. _

_Levi's mind was not as calm as the sea, however._

_How could it be? Eren wasn't there. It just wasn't right to enjoy the ocean alone when he had promised to see it with him. It still hurt, remembering Eren. And it still hurt, not being able to say how much he loved him._

_Lost in his thought, he didn't notice the evident lack of overjoyed shouting as Hanji respectfully silenced herself to allow Levi a peaceful time to think. Hanji was eccentric, yes, but she was perceptive enough to know when to act as such and when to remain solemn. _

_The wide sky reminded him of Eren's eyes, filled with passion. The soft sand reminded him of Eren's smooth skin, although coarse at the same time. (His thoughts conflicted one another, Levi felt, but ignored it because Eren was a conflicting person himself. He wished to exterminate all titans when he himself was one.) The vast ocean reminded him of the depth of Eren's entire being. "You would've liked to see this, brat… You should've been able to see this," Levi whispered to himself, because Eren, of all people, didn't deserve to die._

* * *

A blaring alarm clock jarred Levi from his recollection of the first time he saw the ocean. He glared at the interrupting object, irritably slamming his hand on it to silence it. "Fucking clocks. Which shitty fucker invented it anyways?"

He got up and walked to the bathroom. Staring at himself in the mirror, he muttered grumpily, "Fuck, couldn't I at least have been reborn taller?"

Levi, much to his horror, was still shitty 160 cm tall (or should I say _short_).

And he still worked a shitty job (albeit much, much less life-endangering) under Erwin's massive 188 cm stature _("Fuck, couldn't he have been reborn shorter?_"). At least Petra, Gunter, Erd and Auruo were all there (in one piece, thankfully). It must've been some retarded excuse of "fate" deciding to fuck with him and shuck him with those idiots for _another _lifetime (not that he wasn't glad to see them, but Levi wouldn't admit that out loud).

But still, it was _peaceful _here, something foreign to him. It was hard at first, getting used to life where you didn't have to worry about dying at the hands (or mouth) of some oversized giant with no genitals. Yet even in such a relaxing change of environment, Levi still managed to worry.

Because he hasn't seen Eren yet.

Or any of the 104th Trainee Squad for the matter.

He didn't know if any of them were reborn or if it was just those originally in the Scouting Legion.

Shaking those thoughts from his head, Levi decided that he really needed his coffee. The stick which was perpetually stuck up his ass was even larger before his daily espresso from the Starbucks down the lane.

His lack-of-coffee-induced journey to Starbucks was nothing out of the ordinary. He shrugged on the exact same coat as every other work day, trudged out of his shitty apartment (given to him by Erwin, claiming it was so he "wouldn't be living on a park bench"- the bastard), shuffled to Starbucks, got greeted no less cheerily than any other day by Hanji (whose eccentricity was not helped by the heaps of coffee surrounding her as she worked as a barista) and glared at her for purposely writing "Ravioli" on his espresso cup.

Do note, however, that Levi had hence made it a habit to scribble off his misspelled name and write "Shitty four-eyes" on the cup once he finished drinking, throwing it at Hanji's head with more force than necessary(not that she minded that much, opting to laugh at Levi's annoyed expression instead).

But that day was different. As Levi was about to scribble on his empty cup, the sound of the shop door opening interrupted him. He heard awfully _familiar _footsteps (_There's only one brat who walks everywhere that loudly.)_, and looked up.

His empty espresso cup fell to the table before rolling off the edge.

And then Levi saw him, eyes as beautiful as ever and hair just as perfectly messy and skin just as flawless. He let the name slip from his lips, unable to tear his gaze from the teenager's face. "Eren…"

He brisk walked towards Eren, who obliviously didn't notice. Next to him (unsurprisingly) were none other than Mikasa and Armin, whose eyes widened the second the short (ex?) corporal came into view. Mikasa quickly stepped in between him and Eren. _As protective as ever, huh_, Levi thought to himself.

But Mikasa looked more apologetic than anything else, which both confused and frightened Levi. She lightly shook her head, trying to send some kind of message, which Levi didn't get. "Oi, Mikasa, if you have something to say, speak up. Geez," Levi grumbled, irritated at having being stalled by Eren's stepsister.

Eren looked up, hearing Levi's voice. But seeing Levi's hopeful expression for a reaction, he merely shrugged. Levi's eyes widened. _So fucking long, and he doesn't have a damn thing to say to me?_

"Eren, this is my, uh, old history teacher, Mr. Levi," Mikasa interjected quickly, face scrunching up slightly as she thought up a lie.

_History teacher? _

Levi forced himself not to laugh drily at the irony of him being a _history _teacher, of all else. I mean, he was pretty sure that most history teachers weren't _part _of the history they were teaching. Either way, he was pretty sure Eren paid too little attention in history class to notice Levi's pictures (or pictures of himself, for the matter) in his textbook.

"Ah, okay. Hi, I suppose. I'm Eren. Hope to see you around sometime or whatever," Eren replied, shrugging again.

_I love you. I missed you. How've you been? Are the others there too? Do you know how long I've waited? Why don't you look happy to see me? Are you still angry? I'm sorry. Look at me. Talk to me. I love you._

"Uh, yeah, hi."

As Eren prepared to leave, Levi quickly grabbed his arm. He flinched, and shook the hand off. Levi tried not to appear hurt. Instead, he spoke, trying not to appear desperate, although he could already guess how worry-laced his voice was, "…Eren…"

"Yeah?"

Prompting Eren to actually react to them meeting again, Levi said, "It's been a really long time…"

"…brat." He added the last word unconsciously.

"Brat?" Eren's voice was quiet at first, expression unreadable, as if he was remembering something. But that expression soon faded and his voice rose a couple of notches as he processed what Levi had just referred to him as. "I'm not a fucki-" he paused, remembering that Levi was a _teacher_ and that they were in a coffee shop, before correcting himself, "uh, brat. I would appreciate it if you didn't call me that, Mr. Levi."

Levi smiled to himself. How Eren-like. The uncharacteristic formality was, however, starting to weird him out.

"But I think you're mistaken. We've never met before."

_What?_

Then it dawned on Levi, realisation sending a jolt down his spine, that Eren didn't remember him.

"Oh. Oh, uh, never mind then. Must've mistaken you for someone else. Sorry to bother you. I'll be going now," Levi frantically struggled to organise his thoughts coherently, trying not to show his true emotions on his face and swiftly left the shop.

Closing the shop door and sprinting to the nearest alleyway, Levi pressed himself against one of the brick walls and rubbed his fingers against his temples.

_Fuck, what now?_

* * *

Mikasa walked out of the shop, glancing around for any sign of Levi before spotting him by the alley and walking towards him. "You know, shorty-" A sharp glare from Levi. "I used to be pretty pissed at Eren and your relation-"

"That's hardly surprising. And evidently, Eren doesn't remember me, so he's all yours. I won't force him to be with me. I won't force him to do anything." _Not after I let him die before telling him I loved him._

Mikasa glared at Levi for interrupting her and rolled her eyes at his (futile) attempt at denying the pain he felt.

"-ship, but I don't care anymore. I suppose it's because of Armin's lectures, but even so, I was _happy _for him. The look on his face whenever he was with you was of pure joy. I couldn't give him that, so in a way, I'm glad for you. And by the way, it's not just his memory of you that's missing. All his memories of his past life is gone, somehow. I'm not sure why. The rest of the 104th squad are here, too. Even Marco, Jean's best friend (and boyfriend, now), who'd died during the battle of Trost. Jean looked like he was going to piss himself when they met."

Mikasa chuckled, remembering Jean and Marco's reunion (there was a lot of crying and spazzing out as well as a confused Eren who didn't know what was happening and wondered who Marco was). However, she soon sobered up and continued, "The thing is, he feels like he's missing something. That's what he told me. Sometimes, I'd see him staring out of the window for no reason. He said he didn't know why, but he was just _waiting_ for something. He just doesn't know what. Did you see the way he looked at you earlier on?"

"Yeah, with unfamiliarity," Levi replied sarcastically.

Mikasa rolled her eyes again and fought the urge to punch the man for being so difficult. "No, I meant when you called him a brat. For a second, he looked like he remembered you."

_And then he threw a fit over being called a brat, _Levi thought to himself, but kept quiet.

As Levi remained silent, Mikasa continued speaking, "I think, subconsciously, he knows he's connected to you."

"And just what do you hope to achieve from telling me this?" Levi muttered, thinking that Mikasa only told him all that to make him feel worse.

"I think that, if you do it correctly, Eren could remember you."

And that was it. From that one sentence, Mikasa could see all hint of resistance fade from Levi's face. Without any more words, Levi walked back into Starbucks. Mikasa followed after.

* * *

**Author note:**

**Okay so I didn't intent to continue the one-shot, but I've been meaning to try my hand at a reincarnation AU anyway and many of you wonderful people follow this story, so I decided to go for it~**

**And so, somehow, I think this one-shot will become a three or four chapter long thing (and I'll hopefully update regularly because I'm awful). Thank you all for reading and hope you enjoy~**

**To Misakiiiiiii-san (hopefully I got the number of 'i's correct), I hope the way this story will go is up to your "happy ending" standards since I haven't written that many stories that end happily. ^^**

**-Midnight dream-catcher**


	3. Chapter 3

Noticing Mikasa and Levi walk back into Starbucks, Eren looked up from his newly bought cup of coffee and said, "Mikasa, you just kind of chased after Mr. –uhm who again?- oh yeah, Levi all of a sudden. Did you need help with your work or some shit? Armin freaked and thought you died."

"I-I did not!" Armin spluttered.

"Sure you didn't," Eren smirked tauntingly.

_Yeah, just as much of a brat as always._

"Eren," Mikasa gave him a motherly glare, before explaining, "I just remembered that you were failing history."

"Hey! Don't tell that to any random-"

"-_so, _I've asked Mr. Levi to tutor you."

Levi's eyes widened. Sure, Mikasa discussed this with him earlier on, but it was still a surprise hearing it in front of Eren. At that point in time, it didn't occur to Levi that he could be jailed for pedophilia if Eren reported him to the police if he couldn't control his uh, _love _for the other male.

"Wait, what the fuck makes you think I want _tuition_?_" _

Another glare from Mikasa. Levi sighed, there was really no fighting Mikasa over something like this. Eren would end up just geting his ass handed to him.

* * *

Sure, that was how things all began, but at that time, no one would have guessed that Eren and him would be in _this _kind of situation.

Eren, flushed and hair disheveled, lay on top of Levi in literally the most _compromising _position possible. Levi was frozen below him. His (somewhat active) reflexes from his previous life told him to _catch Eren_, but not _fall with him. _

And now, he was well and truly fucked.

It was the first day of Eren's (supposed) history tuition. Levi, who never taught anyone for any day of his life and was actually an ordinary office worker, had never been more thankful that he'd majored in History back in his schooling days. (The phrase "schooling days" reminded Levi that fuck, he was actually 34 and Eren was still what, 15?)

The second he stepped into Eren's room, his eye involuntarily twitched. There were very _obvious _signs of extremely last minute cleaning. (I mean, if Eren _really _wanted to cram dirty laundry in his desk drawer, at least make sure no socks or underwear were sticking out, geez.) But at the same time, Levi couldn't help but smile because it was so _Eren_ (even if the bookshelf contained more figurines or whatever than books).

At first, Levi wondered why Eren's history textbook was beyond his reach on the bookshelf (not that Levi could reach it either, but this was _Eren's _room for fuck's sake. Shouldn't everything be within reach?) And so, while trying to reach for the textbook, Eren- as fucking uncoordinated as ever- decided to grab onto another _book _for support ("Eren, don't-!").

Needless to say, that was pretty much how Levi ended up in a panic attack under Eren because they were _breathing each other's air _and Eren's hair was fucking _tickling _his cheeks and Levi's heart was beating at twice the rate it would if he was land-bound with a hoard of titans chasing him.

The problem was less of Eren being on top of Levi than the fact that he was just _staying there_. Levi thought some deity was laughing at him from up above because of what situation he was in.

Oh, and did he mention that Eren was frozen above him, and literally _did not move_. This was the worst part, of course. If Eren just got the hell off of him, he'd be able to awkwardly brush the incident off as a mere accident. But now, Eren was simply pushing it.

_Don't kiss him. Don't look into his eyes. Look away. Ah, how wonderful that dresser looks today. Fucking hell, is that Axe? Seriously? Okay goddamnit it's been, what, five fucking hours, Eren just-_

"Uh, Eren, could you-"

Eren didn't respond, but Levi _swore _his gaze had flitted to his lips.

_Oh fuck it. _

And so, Levi tilted his chin up and slanted their lips together.

* * *

Eren rested his head against the outside of his apartment door, groaning. He'd sprinted out of his house after a loud "What the fuck was that?" and shoving Levi away. How the hell had things turned out like that anyway?

_For some reason, when Eren was above Levi, he'd felt a strange sense of déjà vu, as if something similar had happened before. Unconsciously, he found himself staring at Levi's lips. The kiss was utterly unexpected, though. Sure, he did think that his sudden new history tutor was really, really attractive, but he never expected them to kiss. _

The problem with it all was that Eren didn't even hate the kiss. He had kissed girls before, but they had almost no effect. But with Levi's kiss, it was different. Eren didn't know what it was, but the kiss simply _felt, _and that was the worst part.

He brushed his fingers over the lips, feeling the skin which met Levi's burn. He rested his head in his hands. Eren was definitely not blushing, it was just a really hot day or something (even in the middle of fall). And the pounding in his chest was just because of the shock. Yeah, that's it. Nothing more to it.

* * *

"You fucked up, didn't you?" Mikasa sighed, rubbing her temples.

"Yeah."

"Spill it. What did you do this time? Eren is much quieter now."

"I kissed him."

Needless to say, Mikasa was _pissed, _but at least by the end of the (long) lecture, Mikasa agreed to let Levi meet Eren again to apologise.

* * *

Eren perked up at the sound of his room door opening. He'd shut himself in his room ever since the kiss, spending most of his time trying to convince himself that his tutor was just a pedophile and he definitely did _not _enjoy the kiss.

"Hey, Eren. Levi- uh, Mr. Levi, is here to apologise."

Eren's eyes widened. He was so not ready for this confrontation. He glared at the short older man entering his room, if only to distract himself from the sudden increase in the pace of his heartbeat.

As much as he hated to admit it, Eren felt the heat rising to his cheeks when he saw the really flustered history tutor leaning against his doorframe. Unconsciously, he let himself think that the light tinge of pink on Levi's cheeks was _cute, _but quickly slapped himself back to sanity.

"Hey, uh, brat-"

"I'm not a brat."

"Tch, _Eren,_" Levi corrected, "Look, I'm sorry. It was an asshole thing to do and I won't do it again so-"

"Yeah, okay, but why? Why did you kiss me in the first place?"

_Fuck._

* * *

"_Levi!" _Petra chastised the male who had just recounted the whole ordeal to his ex-squad and Erwin (or rather, he just told Petra. The others were eavesdropping.)

Levi wished he didn't even bother coming to work.

"I know how hard it must be on you that Eren doesn't remember you, but even worse than kissing him, you defend yourself by saying, 'You were looking at my lips anyways, so isn't that what you wanted?' You really need to learn to deal with your pride if you want this to work out, okay?" Petra sighed.

"Well what the fuck was I supposed to say? 'Oh by the way, Eren, we were actually in love in our previous life that seemingly came out of your history book but then we all died and were reborn to modern day life'?" Levi muttered sarcastically.

Erwin decided that he should probably step in, so he did. "Levi, you can still accept my invitation."

Levi looked up, "Fuck no. The only reason I agreed was because even a trip to the conference with you was better than staying in this shithole but I didn't meet Eren yet at that time."

"He doesn't remember you, Levi. You should move on," Erwin insisted.

"No, Shitwin."

Seeing as Levi wouldn't budge, Erwin eventually gave up.

* * *

Levi parked his car in front of Maria High, chuckling humorlessly at the sheer _coincidence _of the school name. He grimaced as he re-read his latest text from Mikasa.

_Levi,_

_I need you to pick Eren up from school. He forgot his wallet. Armin and I have some shit on. Don't bother complaining. I know you'll do it anyway._

_Mikasa_

Levi groaned, partially because Eren was an idiot but mostly because he actually _did _come. _Whatever, if the brat's late then I'm leaving._

As expected, Eren was late. But also as expected, Levi didn't leave, and left the car to look for the idiot instead. Of course, Levi had literally no idea where he was going so he just wandered around the school grounds.

As he neared a corner, he heard familiar voices hushed in discussion.

"Oh? Eren, is this true?" a voice taunted.

"Ymir, don't be awful!" a smaller voice scolded.

_Ymir and Christa._

"I-It's not true!" another voice spluttured.

_Eren. _

"But you were blushing and daydreaming the whole day! You didn't even realize the teacher was talking to you 'till she slammed your desk," a female voice added, while eating something.

_Sasha, maybe?_

"Yeah! Since you were like that the whole day, it's only natural that we would think that," a male voice added, and Levi swore he could hear the grin in his voice.

_Bald guy._

"Yeah, right. As if anyone would go out with you, Eren," another male chimed in snidely.

"Jean, that's rude."

"Yeah, horseface. Impossible things have been happening ever since you managed to get laid," Eren retorted.

_Jean and Marco, probably? I think he's the one Mikasa was talking about._

There was some sounds of Eren and Jean about to punch each other but they were pulled apart by someone. A quiet voice said, "Don't bother about them, Eren. I think you should confess."

_Confess?_

A rougher voice added, "Yeah. I mean, it worked for Bert and me. Either way, he's been your best friend for years, right. I'm sure _Armin _would like you too."

_Armin…?_

At that moment, the growing pain in his chest got too much for him to bear, and Levi quickly turned and left.

But oh, if only he had waited just a minute longer, then he would've heard Eren murmur, "But Armin isn't the one I like."


	4. Chapter 4

_It's only natural Eren would've found a fucking person to love by now, _Levi reasoned, briskly walking back to his car. _It's my fucking fault for getting my hopes up anyway. I won't make the brat fall for me if he already loves Armin. Yeah, I'll forget about him, maybe fuck around with Erwin or something._

…_Yeah, right._

Levi knew what he'd do. He'd run away and pretend he never felt anything for the wide-eyed boy. He'd lie and fake his way through life because this was definitely his punishment for his stupidity in his past life. He had made Eren suffer horribly back then for the sake of his pride, and now, he had to go through just as much pain.

_Fuck it all. _Levi leaned on his car hood, waiting for the fucking brat to come, but at the same time, not really wanting to see Eren after what he heard.

_Levi, you're acting like a fucking pansy._

A cough interrupted his thoughts.

"Hey, Le- uh, Mr. Levi."

"Hey," Levi replied awkwardly, opting to get in the car rather than try to force a legitimate conversation with his ex (oh _god, _that was the first time Levi ever realized he had an _ex_).

The drive was ridiculously quiet. Levi was scared of fucking up again and Eren was probably pissed about Levi's shitty reason as to why he kissed him (or maybe he was thinking about Armin, Levi guessed, ignoring the jealous pang in his chest.)

Eren's sigh broke the silence. "Mr. Levi…"

"Hm?"

"About that kiss…"

_Oh fuck. _

"…when you said that I looked like I wanted it, was that the only reason?"

_Oh god, _Eren flushed, realizing that he completely forgot to deny wanting the kiss. Hopefully, Levi wouldn't notice.

Meanwhile, Levi was freaking out (or, as much as someone as emotionally constipated as he was could). He had no idea whether or not to confess how much he desired to hold Eren in his arms and kiss him and-

Levi looked away, "I… Y-yeah, that's all."

_Fuck._

Eren didn't respond, just glad that Levi didn't notice his slip-up and forcing his blush down. He refused to admit how being in such close proximity with his (extremely hot) tutor made his heart race, and especially the fact that he felt somewhat disappointed in the other male's response, which confused him greatly.

The journey back to Eren's house seemed to take much longer than usually necessary. Eren wouldn't stop thinking about the kiss and Levi wouldn't stop thinking about _wanting _to kiss Eren so basically, the atmosphere in the car wasn't particularly suited for a decent conversation. That was why after Levi parked the car, the two of them quickly got out to escape the accumulating tension.

The lift ride up to Eren's apartment was, expectedly, filled with uncomfortable silence since they were the only two there. Instead of forcing himself to break the awkwardness, Eren lost himself in his own thoughts. However, he was immediately brought back to reality when he felt a rough hand caress his hair. He swiveled around, feeling his cheeks heat up as he quickly pushed Levi's hand away, sputtering, "W-what are you doing?!"

Levi frowned at something invisible on his fingers, flicking whatever it was away. "Dust," he explained, expression remaining unchanged.

"O-oh. Thanks," the brunet forced out, looking away and praying that the fucking lift would just _hurry up._

Luckily enough, they soon reached Eren's floor and Eren had to force himself not to rush out in embarrassment. Knocking on his own door, Eren was greeted by a bubbly Armin who grinned at the sight of his best friend, slinging his arm around the taller boy's shoulder to drag him into the apartment. Seeing the bright-eyed boy so _happy _with Armin, Levi had to tell himself that the uncomfortable feeling in his chest wasn't jealousy, and that _jealousy _wasn't the reason why he wanted to leave immediately.

As such, he muttered an awkward goodbye and turned to leave, only to catch a flash of some unknown emotion in his love's eyes. Refusing to dwell on it, the ex-corporal forced himself to leave his ex-lover behind. When he was beyond hearing range, he picked up his phone and called Erwin, who picked up almost immediately.

"You win," Levi muttered, "I'll go for the fucking conference."

Behind closed doors, Eren could finally admit to himself how much Levi touching him could _affect _him so greatly. He remembered how the back of his head had burned when Levi's hand was on it, how it didn't stop burning until he was alone, how he didn't really _want _to brush Levi's hand off.

In the background, he heard someone else come home. _Mikasa, probably_. At that moment, she called out to him, confirming that it was her. He left his room to greet her, but before he could say anything, she said something that sent chills down his spine.

"You know, I thought you and Levi made up or something, but apparently not, huh."

"W-what? We're on okay terms- well not really okay but… we're not fighting or anything. The hell is going on?"

"He's leaving."

"H-huh?"

"He chose to go on a conference with someone from his office, and apparently some intern shit after that. He'll be gone for months. He's under the impression that you're in love with Armin, and wants to leave you be," she rolled her eyes as if that was the stupidest thing she'd ever heard, "But what's important is this: do you love him?"

"I-I… I don't know, I have to think about this." Eren wasn't sure himself how he felt about Levi. It would be pretty ridiculous to fall for some _pervert _who he randomly met at Starbucks. Yet at the same time, Eren didn't feel something was _missing _when he was around the history teacher. He just… wasn't sure.

Mikasa gave him an understanding smile, and before she left the living room, she said, "His flight is tomorrow evening, so you still have time."

Eren nodded, leaving for his room so he could finally confront the painful ache in his chest privately. _Why do I feel like this?_ he wondered, sitting himself on the floor –the same place Levi kissed him, not bothering to walk to his bed.

The mere thought of Levi leaving him scared him more than he was willing to admit, but he didn't know why. Or rather, he just didn't want to admit to how much he didn't want to lose Levi.

_Not again_, a voice in his head added.

_Not again? _Eren was confused. Somehow, the feeling of _losing _Levi was painfully familiar, but how could that be? Eren couldn't lose something that wasn't his in the first place.

And that was how Eren Jaeger finally admitted that yes, he was completely and utterly in love with Levi.

The next morning, Eren left the house early, despite Levi's flight being in the evening. Somehow, it felt like he was _supposed _to do that. However, since he had no real inkling of where he was headed, the teenager just settled for aimlessly wandering the neighborhood. Passing by a bus stop, he caught sight of an advertisement that made him stop in his tracks.

For some reason, the image of some naked giant with _nothing between its fucking legs _on the National History Museum made a burst of anger surge through him. He didn't know why, though. Since he had some time left, he decided to visit the museum. _Levi would be glad I'm going to a history museum_, he thought against his will, feeling the resulting pang of longing in his chest.

_Just wait for a few hours, _he told himself.

The "Titan Exhibit" was… _weird_. Glass cabinets displayed odd shit like some _toaster-looking _things called "3 Dimensional Maneuver Gear" or whatever and some sort of bendy swords, as well as some nutmeg-like thing that was supposedly a "titan's nucleus". While Eren was 100% sure he'd never seen any of those things in his life, he could somehow understand each of the explanations on each item, even if he didn't pay any attention during his history lessons. What was even more puzzling was that more than once, his mind had naturally filled in certain sentences about the "Titans" even without him reading the whole thing. _Weird. _

A small voice interrupted his thoughts from a distance, calling to someone he didn't know. "Hey, Mummy, doesn't that guy over there look like the one in the painting?" a tiny child tugged at her mother's sleeve, waving a pointed finger at Eren.

"Now, now, it's rude to point," her mother chided, but still looked up at Eren, "but yes, now that you mention it, he _does_ look like the guy in the exhibit, doesn't he."

_Excuse me?_ Eren thought indignantly, somewhat offended to have been likened to some display in a really weird exhibition that he really shouldn't find familiar but somehow does.

Despite everything, he was still curious, so he walked along walls covered in posters, artist impressions the titans and cabinets of really fucking huge bones- the same walls the mother and daughter had come from. He went slack-jawed at the sight of the painting gallery.

_No way… _

There was no mistake about it- the one biting his thumb in the painting was definitely him, but _how_? His eyes widened, and he quickly looked to his own left hand. He had always found it weird- the strange birthmark that looked exactly like bite-marks.

Below the painting read, in formal print, "Humanity's Hope, Eren Jaeger."

The wide-eyed teenager dashed about the gallery, making sure to check each and every painting.

"The 104th Training Squad."

"Titans destroy Wall Maria."

"Humanity's Finest, Levi Ackerman."

"Levi Ackerman's Squad."

"Levi Ackerman and his lover, Eren Jaeger."

_Oh… Oh my god… All along… _

Eren slumped to the ground, ignoring the questioning stares from around him as his head pounded furiously. Flashes of his past life flashed before his very eyes- saving Mikasa as a child, The 104th Training Squad, his friends dying, turning into a titan, being trialed at court, Levi saving him, going out of the walls, Levi suddenly pulling him aside to kiss him, kissing the corporal back, wishing he'd just say "I love you", dying before that could happen. Images of Levi's loving face took over and burned themselves into Eren's mind.

And he cried.

He didn't know whether it was from the happiness that every single one of his friends was _safe _or from the sadness stemming from realising what everyone had to go through when they realised he couldn't remember his past life. Or maybe it was because he realised just how much he had _hurt _Levi with his ignorant words and actions and how much the man he loved had to suffer because of it.

But he cried, nevertheless.

It took a while more before Eren had the strength to wipe away his tears and force himself up. Eyes burning with determination, he chased after Levi with everything he had. He couldn't lose him a second time.

Lost in his adrenaline, he'd completely forgotten to ask Mikasa for Levi's flight details, and since it was already evening, he was worried he may have already missed it. As he whipped out his phone however, he realised Mikasa had already messaged him the flight timing, along with the words "I think you've already found your answer. You better hurry up."

Saying a silent thanks to his adopted sister, he checked his watch, only to realise that he'd _really _have to rush in order to catch Levi before he left. Eren quickly sprinted to catch a passing taxi.

The taxi driver was pretty pissed of at the panicky teenager trying his best to stop at asking, "Could you go a bit faster?" just twice (it didn't work in the end, though). After what felt like forever, the taxi pulled over at the airport and Eren shoved a wad of bills into the driver's hand, telling him to keep the change and he sped out of the cab.

At that point in time, he thanked his lucky stars that the airport wasn't _too _crowded. However, he still wasn't sure how he was going to find Levi amidst the crowd of strangers. He didn't even know who Levi was with. _Whatever,_ he decided, telling himself that it didn't matter anyway and dashed towards the departure gate.

"Mr. Levi…!"

Levi's eyes widened in shock, not expecting the younger male to show up but not exactly hating it either, "Huh? Eren?! What the fuck are you-?"

Before Levi could continue, Eren quickly pulled the other into his arms, crushing him against his chest. This was also when Eren realised just how much _muscle _the shorter man had, and had to force a blush down before he got distracted. "E-Eren, what are you-"

"I remembered everything- my past life, the titans, _you. _Everything," he repeated.

Levi didn't respond, so Eren continued to elaborate on how he'd visited the museum (to which Levi chuckled at the thought of his lover going to a _museum_), before lightly resting his head on the other's shoulder, whispering, "I'm so sorry… You must've been through a lot of shit."

With that, Eren put a bit more space between them, trying to give the other room to think, but it wasn't necessary. Almost immediately, Levi pulled the other close again, and voice laced with affection, he muttered, "It doesn't fucking matter anymore. You're back, and that's all I care about, brat."

"I love you, Mr. Levi," the taller boy hummed almost teasingly.

"But… What about Armin or whoever?"

Eren chuckled, finding a jealous Levi utterly _adorable_, but explained what had happened around the corner after Levi had left.

"F-Fine, that's good, I suppose," Levi said under his breath, telling himself that if he was blushing, he'd fucking stab himself "Whatever, but it's Levi, remember? Not Mr. Levi," he grimaced at the mere thought of Eren addressing him that way.

Eren just smiled, sinking deeper into the embrace, and whispered, "Yeah, I remember. I love you."

"I love you too, Eren."

With that one sentence, Levi could suddenly feel a huge weight off his shoulders as he was released from the chains which pound him to his previous life. Now, what happened in the past didn't matter because Eren was finally _here _and _his _at the same time.

When the pair finally broke their embrace, Levi suddenly noticed Erwin's absence. Realising that he'd left on his own without a word, Levi was grateful for how understanding he could be, and messaged him a thanks. After that, Eren and he decided to just crash at his place, where there was no one to interrupt them.

On the way back to Levi's place, Eren still tried to apologise for forgetting about his past life, and it was seriously starting to irritate the ex-corporal. However, at the same time, he couldn't have been more satisfied now that he had more than just memories of Eren.

* * *

**Author Note:**

**Wheeeee I'm finally done, you guys~ I'm so sorry this took so long ^^; I just kinda forgot about it orz **

**A big thanks to all those who reviewed, faved, followed etc. or i probably would've let this rot until next year oops**

**-Midnight dream-catcher**


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